doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
