dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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