I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
