There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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