i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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