you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
