if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
