me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
