i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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