Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
