My entire life is one complicated drinking game
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
