One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize