Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
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