Small penises have feelings too.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize