I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
