my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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