Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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