If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
