Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize