Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
