you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize