take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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