I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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