She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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