6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
