CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
