Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
