i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
