So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
