he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
