I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize