she was so not down for the gang bang
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
