So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
