tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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