so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
