i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
