It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
