you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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