Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
