My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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