it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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