What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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