I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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