I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
