Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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