it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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