It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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