thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
