Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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