Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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