i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
