seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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