I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
