woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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