just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
